Kissing is usually considered part of foreplay leading to more intense moments. But it need not always be so.
A kiss can be a gesture of love and affection. You can even gauge the feelings a guy has for you from the way he kisses you. When you are being kissed, you need to pay attention to what is actually happening, the dynamics of the kiss, and how it is making you feel.
Sometimes when you are being kissed, you know that the intention behind it is to make you happy and feel cherished. However, at other times, you know that the kiss is meant to bring gratification to the kisser rather than you.
This leads us to the question: Why would a guy kiss you if he wasn’t genuinely interested?
If you are confused, don’t worry. In this article, you will get to know the reasons for his behavior. You will also learn what you can do to encourage him and take this forward. In case, you aren’t comfortable with his kiss, you will find here what you can do to discourage him.
Why would a guy kiss you if he isn’t interested?
When a guy looks at you and something in you makes him think that you’re lonely and desire company, he might kiss you. A guy may even interpret some of your gestures and behavior and think that you’re inviting him to kiss you.
However, there is always a chance that this guy misunderstood your body language. He may have deduced incorrectly that you are looking for comfort and he can provide you that comfort with a kiss, despite him not being interested in you in a romantic way.
Sometimes, proximity can trigger feelings and act as a catalyst for a kiss.
Let’s see the reasons in detail.
1. He’s aroused
Our guy feels horny and sexually aroused. He just had an adrenaline rush. The reason for this may be you or something else. When he feels aroused and sees you, he pounces on the opportunity and kisses you.
You may have subconsciously given him signals of encouragement or he may have imagined this as well. You may get an idea of what is going through his mind if you pay attention to his body language.
Is the guy trying to arouse you? Does he expect anything from you? Is he discouraged by your rejection? Or does he feel encouraged when you respond well?
You can read a lot into his mind if you care to look beyond the kissing act.
2. This is part of a dare
A guy may do silly things when someone dares him to. His friends may have challenged him to kiss the first girl who comes across or even specifically you. Maybe his friends thought of you as a tough nut to crack and he will be too scared to take up the challenge. Maybe all his friends wanted was to get him to do something he was refusing.
However, our guy took up the dare and kissed you, even though he isn’t interested in you as such. All he wanted was to get this over with. But when the guy kissed you, he could sense an electric shock running through his body. He may even try to take it forward, though this was never his intention in the first place.
If a guy is kissing you just as a part of a dare, he may try to record it as evidence to show his friends.
3. He’s excited to kiss the most popular girl
You’re quite popular in your peer group and anyone kissing you is bound to be noticed. Maybe the guy has been dreaming of kissing you for a long time but resisting the urge as he’s apprehensive of your reaction.
Finally, our guy gathered enough courage to kiss you. He’s scared that you will slap him for it. He sort of expects a hostile reaction from you. Even if you don’t react, that would be a big plus for him. If you let him know that you like being kissed, the guy would be over the moon.
4. He has a crush on you
The guy has been your secret admirer for a long time. But he’s afraid to approach you or talk to you, let alone kiss you. It has been his dream to kiss you from day one. All this while, he has been looking for an encouraging gesture from you.
He went ahead and kissed you because he couldn’t resist it anymore. He also wants to know whether you’re interested in him.
You may have known this guy for a long time but never thought of him in a romantic context.
5. He felt like kissing you
He’s the dominating sort of guy. When he wants something, he goes ahead and gets it. He isn’t bothered by how it affects the other person.
In this instance, this guy is invading your private space by kissing you. He’s not the kind of person to consider how this is going to affect you. He expects you to submit to his wishes and he wants to exercise his control over you.
Even if you like this guy and want to have a relationship with him, this is not a healthy environment to be in. Having a relationship with someone who is least interested in you as an individual and doesn’t care about personal boundaries is not advisable.
6. He just wants to see where this will lead up to
He has his eyes on you for a long time. You are pretty, popular, and have a mind of your own. He knows that it’s not easy to corner your attention and get into a relationship with you. By kissing you, he’s just trying his chance with you. The guy wants to know if he has a future with you.
Or maybe he liked you from afar but is not so sure about how good you are for him. He’s gauging your reaction by kissing you. He may even make romantic gestures such as eyes closed, hand touching you, or hugging you while kissing. He may think that this will encourage you to respond well to his kiss.
7. He’s trying to arouse you
The guy may or may not be aroused. But he is fooling around with you and trying to see what happens when you are aroused. He may even stand back and act detached after arousing your interest with his kiss.
He wants you to come to him rather than the other way around. If he acts cool after kissing you and waits for your reaction, he’s a scammer or a schemer. However, if the guy is nervous and uncomfortable when he kisses you, he may have fallen for you and wants you to reciprocate his feelings.
8. He loves and cares about you
There is nothing romantic about his feelings for you. His love for you may be friendly or even brotherly. His kiss may be just a token of his affection.
The guy may have never considered how his kiss may be misunderstood by you. Maybe it was a spur-of-the-moment gesture when he saw you distressed. He wants you to know that he cares about you and you can always rely on him.
9. It is just a friendly kiss
There is nothing more to the kiss. It was merely a friendly gesture. The guy wanted to let you know that he’s there for you and you can count on him no matter what happens.
He would typically be smiling when he kisses you in a friendly way. He may not ask for permission as there is no need for permission among friends. You would feel comforted by the kiss.
If this is the case, don’t complicate things by overthinking about why the guy kissed. You need to consider other reasons for his kiss only if he reveals his love for you. Otherwise, it was just a simple kiss from a friend.
10. You may have sent him signals
You may be doing this consciously or unknowingly. But he got them all right. The guy understood from your gestures and words that you like him and want to be kissed by him. Or maybe you asked him openly to kiss you.
He may or may not be in love with you. But since he received your signal and he likes you, he went ahead with it. He didn’t consider how his kiss would be perceived – either by you or even by himself.
When the guy kissed you, he didn’t consider this wrong. It’s just a friendly, affectionate gesture for him.
11. He was inebriated
The guy was not in his right senses and completely drunk when he kissed you. Even after coming to his senses, he may not remember what prompted this or why he kissed you. At that particular moment, he may have felt the need to kiss someone and you just happened to be near him.
This is not uncommon when a person is drunk. If you are familiar with this guy, give him a stern warning not to repeat this. If this guy is not known to you, keep a watch out for him in the future. If you like the guy when he’s sober, talk to him about your concerns and wishes.
How to encourage him to take it further?
You may already be in love with this guy. Or developed feelings for him when he kissed. When a guy kisses you, you must be hoping that this will be the beginning of a long-lasting relationship.
Can you do anything to help him? Read on.
- Kiss him with passion.
- If he’s not taking the hint, take the first step by asking him out.
- Give him special gifts.
- Dress up when you meet him.
- Share your number and connect with him on social media.
- Let him know that you’re ready for a no-strings-attached relationship.
- Take a step back and play it cool. Give him space. This is an attractive quality.
- Don’t crowd him or put him in a spot. Be patient and take it slow.
How to discourage him or prevent a repeat?
Even if a guy loves you, if he kissed you without your consent, you may not like it at all. In fact, you may feel confused or even disgusted by the kiss. Your immediate urge would be to push him with as much force as you can muster. You may want to tell him how he made you feel.
But you may not be able to do this as you were too stunned to react to the kiss. You never anticipated it. Moreover, reacting like this may make him more adamant to repeat the same gesture.
How should you handle an unwanted kiss? Read on.
- Don’t encourage him or kiss him.
- Give him a look that reveals your feelings – baffled, confused, clueless, and bewildered.
- Follow it up with a question like “Hey! What do you think you are doing?”
- Tell him that you used to be in love with him before but no more.
- If the guy is pestering you with calls and messages, block his number.
- Let him know your disapproval in the strongest terms possible.
- Stay away from him.
- Let your partner know what happened.
- Warn him not to repeat this and ask him to keep a distance.
The Bottom Line
Just because a guy kissed you doesn’t mean he has feelings for you or is genuinely interested in you. A guy may kiss you just to win a dare with his friends. Guys are like that. They can kiss without feeling anything for you.
Sometimes, a guy will kiss you just to make you feel comfortable. When you are feeling down, a guy may give you a kiss to perk you up. A guy may give you a kiss for no particular reason as well.
Irrespective of his reasons, your reaction should be based on how you feel about it. If you like his kiss, you can encourage him. But if you feel disgusted by it, you should take steps to prevent it.