Emotions are an integral part of being human, whether we choose to show them outwardly or not.
Throughout our lifetimes, we experience a range of emotions, and they define who we are. However, each one of us experiences emotions in diverse ways. The mind works differently for different people. The same happiness or sadness or anger are felt differently by us. They differ in their causes, outcomes, intensities, and impacts, making the experience markedly different for each one of us.
This is more felt in a relationship when the partners feel varying emotions. If you are a guy, you may have your emotions more under control. You may feel that your girlfriend is overreacting or overly emotional. When you feel this way about the girl you are dating, it can cause mental agony for you. Clearly, her mind works differently.
The most difficult part about dealing with your girlfriend’s emotions is your inability to understand why she’s so emotional. Only then you can think about how to deal with it. In this article, you will find listed the probable reasons for her emotional outbursts and the best courses of action for you to deal with them in the context of a relationship.
Why is your girlfriend so emotional?
You are indeed finding it hard to deal with your girlfriend’s emotions. This doesn’t mean that she’s doing it intentionally to get your attention, even if you may want to think this way. You need to understand and accept that her emotions and behavior are integral parts of her personality. Neither can your girlfriend do anything about it, nor you.
You also need to remember that her emotions are not constant. With changing circumstances in the relationship, her emotions too will change. Past memories also play a significant role in shaping the emotions of a person.
You would be okay if she’s happy all the time. However, there would be times when she’s angry, irritated, sad, anxious, or even depressed. She may cry for no apparent reason to you. This is bound to make you feel confused and lost. Naturally, you want to know how to react and get your relationship back on track. Often your response ends up aggravating her distress rather than alleviating it.
Before you consider a response to her emotional behavior, you need to know what is causing those emotions. Read on to know more.
1. She feels anxious
She’s anxious about something. This may be related to the relationship or not. She may be overthinking about something that is bothering her. She may not be doing this intentionally. It’s just part of her character.
While she will hide her anxiety from the rest of the world, she may come to you in the hope that you will understand her. Sometimes her reactions to two seemingly incomparable events or things may be the same, which defies logic to you.
The only way to deal with such behavioral anomalies in a relationship is to accept the person as they are. She is who she is. No more, no less. If you can absorb this concept and put it into practice, dealing with her emotions won’t be a big deal for you.
To do this, you don’t need to understand her or her problems. But make sure that you offer comfort to her and not say or do anything to hurt her feelings.
2. She feels sad
You may or may not feel that her feeling sad is justified. As long as she feels that way, you need to respect her emotions. She may be sad because of the absence of happiness. Or there may be a specific reason such as missing someone dear or being unhappy at the office.
Maybe she has no one else to share her troubles with. She may feel that she’s often misunderstood. She may feel sad about where her life is headed.
She can feel sad about a multitude of things in her life. Even if you feel that she’s being overly sensitive and just brush these feelings off and move on in life, you need to support her the best way you can. Because as a partner, you are expected to support each other unconditionally.
3. She’s scared
When she thinks about her future, she feels anxious and scared. She isn’t sure how things will turn out to be. From her perspective, the future is just a blur – unclear and indecipherable. This makes it hard for her to figure out a path.
She feels insecure and afraid of both her immediate future and the distant one. She’s the kind who will listen to or read up on all the scary stuff out there and weave them into her life, only to feel scared all the time. However much you ask her not to do that, she will continue to.
Just because she read about a hit-and-run incident, she is scared to cross the road. The list of things she is scared of is pretty long. To you, it may seem that she enjoys scaring herself or she’s doing this to get your attention. Though there is some merit in this, you shouldn’t take this stand unless you have ruled out all other reasons.
4. It’s part of her character
Some people are born to worry, while others remain nonchalant in the most distressing circumstances. She belongs to the former group.
She knows that she’s more emotional than normal people and has learned how to deal with it. She may not expect anything from you other than a bit of support and understanding. She will take all care not to disturb you or make it hard for you.
She may not be able to control her emotional reactions but she expects you to leave her to deal with her problems. All she wants is your silent presence and support. Most often, when she’s emotional, she prefers to be alone and deal with her problems in her own way.
5. She’s doing this for attention
She uses her mood swings and emotional outbursts to get your attention. When a girl is an attention seeker, she may do whatever it takes to grab the attention of those around her. She has been like this since childhood and had success with this approach. She’s using the same technique in her relationship now.
She wants you to make her the center of your universe. At times, when you prioritize someone or something else, she feels left out and offended. That is when she decides to throw a tantrum and draw your attention to herself.
It’s not easy to deal with such a girlfriend as she may not listen to reason. Therapy may help her get better.
6. She feels insecure
She’s not sure about many things in her life and this makes her jittery and vulnerable. Whether it has something to do with her job, or about her relationship with her friends and family, she’s always on the edge and feels insecure. She may be worried about her appearance or her weight gain. She may also have apprehensions about the relationship with you, though you may be unaware of any problems.
She has this nagging feeling in the back of her mind that something is about to go wrong in her life or your relationship. She needs reassurance and support to have some semblance of normalcy. She may even begin to demand this support from you, even though you may consider it too much of an ask.
She may not respect boundaries or may act clingy. It’s not easy to get along well with such a girlfriend. If you think she’s worth making adjustments in life, go ahead after reconsidering the pros and cons.
7. She’s being secretive
She may be hiding something from you and this is causing her to be too emotional. What she’s hiding may have nothing to do with your relationship or these problems may have direct consequences.
She may be about to lose her job. She may be diagnosed with an incurable disease. She’s suffering from an eating disorder. She may have caused you harm or hurt intentionally or otherwise. She may be hiding her alcoholism or substance abuse from you. Or worse still, she may be cheating on you.
Secrets can eat into the soul and create unbearable mental health issues. This may come out in the open as being emotional.
8. She suffers from depression
She has been dealing with a depressive state of mind for years now. There are good days and bad ones for her. On bad days, she finds it hard to control her emotions.
She thinks of you and the relationship as the most stable elements in her life and believes that you can help her overcome the debilitating mental affliction. When she finds herself drowning, you are her lifebuoy or throwline. Any criticism or rejection from you can be devastating for her.
She may be well aware of her problems and wants to get better. With your help and support, she may become normal.
9. She’s immature
She is an adult but behaves like a child. She says things that are considered inappropriate for an adult. She does things that a mature person may not consider doing. She’s unpredictable and highly emotional. That is her problem.
When a child grows up to an adult, he or she learns how to adapt their behavior as they grow older. Unfortunately, she never understood this process or matured in her behavior as a person. As a result, she continues to behave like a young child, without any awareness of what is appropriate and what is not.
In a relationship, this kind of behavior can create problems. She says and does whatever comes to her mind. Later on, she may realize her mistake and regret her words or actions. But by then, the damage had been done.
10. She’s irritated and angry
Her anger may be directed at you or unrelated to you. But when she’s angry, she may be more emotional than normal. This may happen when there is no outlet for her anger or any way to resolve her problems. Her frustration may make her emotional.
When angry, people tend to have a hard time organizing their thoughts and thinking things through. They try to lash out at anyone who comes near them. Since you are in a relationship with her, you stand no chance. You will be forced to bear the brunt of her anger. This usually comes out as meaningless emotional outpourings.
How best to deal with your girlfriend’s mood swings?
While certain types of emotional outbursts and mental health issues are easier to deal with in a relationship, others are not. It all depends on the real reasons for the emotional flare-up. It’s no fun to deal with these problems as this can lead to mental agony for you, but if you value your relationship and you are deeply in love, your girlfriend would be worth fighting for.
It’s best to know your future partner well before you start dating seriously. If you can, avoid such relationships. It is better to stay away from such emotionally-draining girlfriends. Once you agree to a relationship, you are consenting to accept her as such, warts and all.
However, if you find the going unbearable in the relationship but would still like to stick around with your girlfriend, you can try these suggestions to resolve the problems and improve the situation.
- Initiate an open conversation with your girlfriend.
- Ask her directly if she wants your help and how you can help her.
- Set aside more time for her and spend more time together.
- Put in more effort to know her better through intimate conversations.
- Don’t blame her for her behavior or the ensuing problems.
- Don’t make assumptions. There’s a high chance that you get it wrong. Instead, clarify with her.
- There is no need to hide your feelings.
- Don’t compare her problems with that of others or generalize what she’s going through.
- Allow her to explain her behavior and say what is bothering her.
- Take time to figure out your approach. Take care to avoid the blame game.
- Reevaluate your relationship.
The Bottom Line
Your partner has a unique way of expressing herself through her emotions, and it’s a special gift she shares with you. This ability is not something everyone possesses, including yourself. It’s truly wonderful that she feels comfortable opening up her heart to you, as it shows she values you deeply.
When she shares her emotional side with you, it’s likely something she reserves exclusively for your relationship. This vulnerability is a sign of trust, and it’s essential to honor and respect her feelings. Approach her with compassion and empathy, making sure she feels understood and valued.