A big chunk of a relationship relates to physical contact – letting each other into their personal space, touching, holding hands, kissing, hugging, caressing, and having sexual intercourse.
All these need a good comfort level and this can be achieved only with time and patience.
Once you have established an excellent comfort level and trust, the relationship will be smooth sailing. When things are going great in your relationship, it may create a false sense of confidence and presumption in your partner’s mindset about what is acceptable. For example, he may take your consent for granted and fail to ask for permission, say, before your boyfriend kisses you.
Imagine the situation when you are asleep and your boyfriend starts kissing you. He may be a good kisser, but how would this make you feel?
If you are willing and in the mood for it, you will welcome it and enjoy it as a sign of love. However, there’s always a chance that you’re not in the mood for a close encounter at that particular moment. If he had asked, you would have said “no”. But he never asked and went straight for it.
You may have had a hard day and all you want to do is to sleep. And, asleep you were. You were suddenly woken up by your boyfriend with kisses. You’re half asleep-half awake and so unable to think it through.
What does it mean? What does he want from me? Is he so in love with me? Why doesn’t he understand that I want to sleep? How shall I deal with this situation?
Your mind would be buzzing with such questions.
This article tries to figure out the reasons for your boyfriend’s actions and the choices open before you. When a guy kisses you while you are sleeping, you should know how to respond to the situation.
Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Kisses You While You Are Asleep
Your boyfriend may be in the habit of expressing his love and affection for you at every given opportunity. This may be one of those occasions. Or he may believe that this gesture will make you happy and he is trying to pamper you. After all, he has the reputation of being a good kisser.
Here are some of the common reasons for your boyfriend’s behavior.
1. He’s crazy about you
This is the simplest of reasons for his behavior. There are no underlying intentions or strings attached to this pure act of love. If you want to find flaws in his behavior, all you can say is that it’s a bit immature and inconsiderate.
He’s madly in love with you and he didn’t consider anything else before expressing his love for you. If he were rational, he would have asked for your permission and even considered whether you were up for it or not. If you want to pick his mistakes, it would be his insane love for you.
Yes, he didn’t consider your consent before the act. But did you like it? Would you like him to continue? Would you want him to repeat this? Did it make you uncomfortable?
He’s a good kisser. So, if you enjoyed his kisses, then that’s it. Don’t bother overthinking this. In a relationship, it’s not always practical to do things in the proper way. Go with the flow and enjoy the moment. Don’t hold on to minor transgressions like this.
But if it makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn’t feel apprehensive about speaking up. You should let your guy know about your discomfort and ask him not to repeat this.
2. He’s insecure in the relationship
Your boyfriend may not be quite sure about how much you’re into him. He may consider you way too much out of his league as you are beautiful, smart, and popular in the right circles. He must have been taken aback when you agreed to the relationship.
In such a scenario, he may need validation for his love from you quite frequently. Whenever he sees you, he may feel an uncontrollable urge to express his feelings for you. At that point, he may not be in a mental state to consider your consent. He goes right ahead and lets his feelings for you show.
This would be alright if you were equally in love with him and enjoying his acts of love. But if you find this offensive or repulsive, what he did is definitely wrong.
If you’re confused about your feelings or unsure about how to react, search in your own mind for answers when you’re calm. You and only you can figure this out. You know what is best for you.
If you like his spontaneous kisses, help him feel secure in the relationship by reiterating your love for him. Let him know that you love him as much as he loves you. If you don’t like this, take steps to prevent it in the future.
3. He feels very possessive
Those kisses, when you are asleep, may look like a romantic, spontaneous gesture, but it may be a sign of your boyfriend’s possessive nature. Possessiveness is one of the dark elements of a relationship you may have to deal with if you’re one of those unfortunate partners.
You may need clarification about how to distinguish between love and possessiveness. For the most part, they look and sound the same, but there are some distinct differences if only you care to look for them.
When a guy has a possessive streak in him, he will call you “my love”, “my baby”, or “my girl”. He will treat you as his prized possession and not as an equal partner. He will never be satisfied in the relationship and will be pressuring you to raise the intensity in the relationship.
Initially, you may enjoy being the center of his world, but, in time, this can become suffocating. Oftentimes, you find his behavior too much to handle. You may wonder why he needs reassurance when you are in the middle of your relaxing sleep.
If your relationship is young, give it some time. He may get over this stage on his own. If this is not the case, you may have to do something about it.
4. He’s angry with you
If this is not a regular gesture from your boyfriend, the chances are that something triggered him to do this. Most probably, he is mad because of something you did or said to him. And his kisses, while you are in a deep sleep, are his way of getting back at you.
He may be irritated by your behavior, even if you may be unaware of the entire episode. He may not have initiated a conversation with you about this. But the anger is simmering in his mind.
If you suspect this is the case, you can take steps to talk about what is bothering him. Sort it out, and your midnight kisses will also stop.
5. He’s feeling horny
That is typical for most guys, as they feel horny at all hours of the day. A guy will kiss you despite you sleeping because he needs an outlet for his feelings for you. He may be looking for physical contact. It’s as simple as that.
If you like it or want to take this further, go right ahead. He will only be too happy to comply. But if you don’t like to be disturbed in your sleep and kiss him good night on the forehead and go back to your beauty sleep.
6. He woke up from a nightmare
Maybe the bad dream has nothing to do with you; your boyfriend must be going through some tough challenges on the work front. But when he woke up from a bad dream and found you sleeping so peacefully beside him, he may be reaching out to you for comfort with his kisses.
Why he is having nightmares is something you may have to figure out by talking to him. Something is bothering him and it is coming out in the form of nightmares. If this is happening every night, you need to take the initiative and find a solution. Otherwise, your sleep will also get disturbed.
If this is the case, his kisses may not be the passionate kind. It will be more for his comfort and reassurance than anything else.
7. This is a fetish
Maybe your boyfriend has a fetish for intimacy in the half-asleep state. This may sound weird to you, but fetishes are always weird. This act on his part may not be easy for you to handle. You can try talking to him about this and find out more. You can tell him that you don’t want to be disturbed when you’re sleeping. But he may not comply with your suggestions and the midnight kisses may continue.
He may be reluctant to admit this as a fetish. To help him come out clean, you can talk about your own weird fetishes. This may or may not work. You may even have to get him into a counseling session to make this go away.
8. He wants you to feel as crazily in love as himself
Maybe he thinks that you’re not as invested in the relationship as himself. While he’s bursting at the seams with love for you, you’re taking it easy and slow. With these midnight kisses, he’s trying to raise the heat in the relationship.
He must be sure about your feelings for him and that you like being kissed even if it disturbs your sleep. He wants you to feel the ultimate pleasure of being in love. He wants you to feel as dizzy with love as himself.
If you agree with this, reciprocate positively. You, too, can try kissing your partner in your sleep. That will make him happier than ever. If not, don’t hesitate to let him know.
9. He likes to watch you enjoy his intimate gestures
He is quite sure about your love for him. He also knows that you enjoy these half-sleep escapades from your body language. As he would be awake and you would be half-asleep, it would allow him to watch your enjoyment.
So long as you are enjoying it, let it continue. But if you want to be left alone on some days, let him know about that as well. If he is a considerate boyfriend, he will understand.
10. He wants to surprise you
Initiating intimacy when you least expect it is something he wants you to experience. He may be feeling sure about your positive response. He may be thinking of this as an exciting surprise for you.
If he’s right in his assumptions about you, go with the flow and enjoy the show. If not, talk to him about it.
11. He’s just feeling happy
When a guy sees the love of his life asleep so peacefully, he will feel so happy and content in his life. Or maybe there is another reason for his happiness, such as a pay hike or a promotion at work. Whatever his reason for happiness is, he wants to share it with you and celebrate. He may not be so good with his words and expressions of love. His passionate kiss mid-sleep is his special way of conveying happiness to you.
12. He is not content with the relationship
Your boyfriend may have his own set of expectations from you and the relationship and he may not be getting what he wants out of it. Maybe work is keeping you apart much more than he wants. He wants to spend more time with you and get closer to you. When your boyfriend kisses you while you’re asleep, it is his way of compensating for the time lost during the daytime.
13. His kisses are part of foreplay
His midnight kisses are merely the first step in the grand scheme of things. He’s trying to set the ball rolling for an intimate session with you. Maybe he’s testing the waters with the kiss, seeing how you are reacting to the gesture. The passionate kiss is more like a suggestion. He will take your positive reaction to the kiss as consent for making love.
How to react when your boyfriend kisses you while you’re asleep?
A relationship is no rocket science. But it’s no cakewalk, either.
When two individuals from different upbringings and backgrounds come together in a relationship, it can be hard to understand each other’s words and gestures. The best way forward is for both to speak their minds. As we all know, this is easier said than done.
Despite the challenges in the initial stages of a relationship, here are a few suggestions to make things easier and smoother if you like being kissed in sleep by your boyfriend.
- If you liked being kissed, let him know how you feel. Even a smile would be good.
- Let him know how much you love him.
- Kiss him back. This is the best encouragement you can give him.
- If both of you like it, engage in role-play. With this, you can get over some of your inhibitions.
- As he is trying to express his love for you with midnight kisses, you can try the same approach. If you get up earlier than him in the morning, you can wake him up with sweet kisses.
- If your boyfriend intended these kisses as a surprise for you, you could come up with some surprise ideas to infuse more romance into the relationship.
- Don’t hold yourself back from flirting with your boyfriend.
- Dress the way he would want you to as long as you are also enjoying it.
- Plan a short trip somewhere you will both enjoy.
If you didn’t like being kissed, you might be feeling annoyed that your beauty sleep got interrupted. Maybe this is what you didn’t like and not that you are being kissed. You would have preferred if he kissed you when you were awake.
Here are a few suggestions you could try when you don’t like your boyfriend’s kisses while you are asleep.
- Let him know how you feel. There is no need for you to feel awkward or scared.
- Maybe later, you can have an open conversation about this with your boyfriend. This can help him understand your distaste for midnight kisses. This way, you can avoid similar situations in the future.
- Make sure that you are lying facing away from him. Or cover yourself completely with a blanket. Even if he wants to kiss you, this will be a clear message to him of your disinterest.
- If you don’t want to be disturbed while sleeping, you should go to bed only after making love. You can tell him in clear terms that he shouldn’t bother you in your sleep.
- Talk to him about his dreams and desires. Try to know his fetishes regarding the relationship. Having prior knowledge will help you devise a better plan to avoid his kisses while you are asleep.
The Last Word
Usually, when a guy kisses you while you are asleep, it is a sign of love and passion. It’s a loving gesture. If you like the kisses, show your appreciation by smiling or reciprocating. If you didn’t like the interruption, let him know how you feel. This way, you can ensure that this will not be repeated.