Should I Ignore Her If She Ignores Me? When and How to React

Being ignored is the worst, isn’t it? Especially when it’s by someone you like and want to get closer to. You start overanalyzing everything. Why won’t she text me back? What did I do wrong? Is she mad at me? Does she even notice I exist?

Should I Ignore Her If She Ignores Me

I’ve been there myself, and I know how much it can hurt when a girl you’re into starts ignoring you. You’re left wondering if you should ignore her back. That might get her attention, right?

Well, sometimes it does work. But other times, ignoring her can backfire or make things worse between you two. So, should you really give her the silent treatment, too?

The truth is, it depends. In this article, I’ll walk you through the different reasons a girl might ignore you and whether ignoring her back is a good idea. You’ll learn how to respond based on why she’s not paying attention to you.

My goal isn’t to tell you she’s wrong for ignoring you. Instead, I want to help you understand where she’s coming from so you can get your relationship back on track. Because her reaction often has nothing to do with you personally.

So take a deep breath and don’t panic. We’ll figure this out together. By the end, you’ll be better equipped to handle being ignored with maturity and grace. And who knows – she may even start blowing up your phone again!

Possible Reasons Behind Why She is Ignoring You

Before reciprocating her actions, understanding her motivation and her behavior is important. There are many reasons why a girl might start ignoring a guy she seems interested in. 

It’s not always personal. Maybe she’s playing hard to get, or her busy schedule is getting in the way. Or perhaps something you did turned her off without you realizing it. 

Let’s explore some common theories behind the cold shoulder treatment.

1. She’s busy (work, school, family obligations)

Hate to break it to you, but you’re not always going to be the center of her universe. She has a life outside of you. If the girl you like seems distracted or takes forever to respond, chances are she just has a lot going on.

Maybe she’s swamped at work and staying late to finish projects. Finals week could be coming up, so she’s cramming for exams. Wedding planning for her sister’s big day could be occupying all her free time.

Or perhaps she’s not great at balancing everything and gets overwhelmed. When her plate is full, conversing with her crush (you) may slide down the priority list even if she’s into you. Don’t take it personally if she may be ignoring you.

When she’s stressed, the last thing she needs is your demands on her time and attention. Be understanding of what she’s dealing with. Once things calm down, she can focus on you again. Just give her some time and space she needs.

2. She’s shy and unsure how to approach you

Some girls are naturally introverted and quiet around guys they may be ignoring. She may be too nervous to start a conversation with you or respond right away.

The thought of messaging first or saying the wrong thing paralyzes her. Or she overthinks everything she says to you after the fact, feeling embarrassed.

Her shyness doesn’t mean she’s not interested though. In fact, she probably likes you a lot but doesn’t know how to make the first move. Flirting and initiating contact do not come easy to her.

Don’t corner her or try to force her to open up before she’s ready. That will only make her more self-conscious. Give her some time and space to come out of her shell.

You may need to be patient as she works up the courage. Help put her at ease by keeping things light and low-pressure at first. Go out of your way to make her feel comfortable around you.

With a sensitive approach, she’ll eventually warm up and become more confident in expressing her interest. Taking it slow allows her true fun-loving side to emerge.

3. She wants more attention from you

Sometimes, a girl will start ignoring a guy because she craves more attention from him. She hopes to make you value her more by being less responsive or absent.

In her mind, playing hard to get will increase her desirability. She wants you to wonder where she is, what she’s doing, and if she’s talking to other guys.

When you don’t react as much as she wants, she may even try to make you jealous by flirting with other guys in front of you. It’s a tactic to get you to chase her.

As silly as it sounds, this test means she’s into you on some level. She just wants validation that you like her as much as she likes you.

Rather than getting upset, be strategic in responding to her attempts to stir up your interest. Don’t be overly available or desperate. But find sincere ways to show you care and want to spend time with her.

Giving her the attention she craves takes away the need to play games. Soon, she’ll feel secure and give you her full focus.

4. She’s testing your interest and commitment

After an initial connection, some women will pull back on purpose to see how interested you are.

Ignoring you is a way to gauge your reaction and intentions. Are you serious about pursuing her or just looking for a fling?

She may have doubts or be wary after past relationships that ended badly. Testing your persistence assures her you’re genuinely interested.

Don’t fall for the mind games. But don’t give up at the first sign of resistance, either. Find a balance between chasing her and giving her space during this evaluation phase.

Show your interest by remembering important details about her and planning thoughtful dates. But also demonstrate you have a life outside of her.

Making an effort without being needy shows her your interest comes from a sincere place. Once she knows your heart is in it, the games will stop.

5. She feels insecure about your feelings toward her

If she suddenly starts ignoring you, it could mean she doubts your relationship’s status. 

 Maybe she felt like things were going well between you two. But now, something has triggered feelings of self-doubt.

Did you stop complimenting her or asking questions about her life? Have you been acting distant or spending less time together? She may worry you’re losing interest.

Or perhaps she expected you to commit but you haven’t made a move. She feels confused and anxious about where this is heading.

Don’t let her insecurities fester. Be direct about your feelings for her to provide reassurance. Plan thoughtful gestures and dates. Compliment her more often.

Just take care not to come on too strong if you sense commitment is her concern. Ease any pressure and let things progress naturally.

With consistent care and attention, her confidence in your bond will grow. She’ll stop worrying and open her heart again.

6. She’s frustrated with you over something

If a girl who was normally attentive starts ignoring you, it could be a sign of irritation over something you said or did.

Maybe you made insensitive remarks that hurt her feelings. Or you keep bailing on plans at the last minute, leaving her disappointed.

Perhaps you’re not listening to her complaints about the relationship. She may feel neglected emotionally and physically.

Whatever the case, your actions (or inaction) have upset her. Now, she may be giving you the cold shoulder as punishment.

Don’t get defensive if this is the reason behind her silence. Sincerely apologize for the frustration you’ve caused. Make it up to her by being extra thoughtful and present.

Address any issues head-on. Compromise if needed to get your relationship back on track. With consistent effort, her anger will subside.

7. She finds you too clingy

Have you been messaging, or texting her too often? 

Smothering her with constant contact and demands on her time will cause her to withdraw.  It could be a signal that you’re coming on too strong.

Maybe you insist on walking her to every class or get upset if she’s too busy to hang out. You always have to know where she is and who she’s with.

To you, these seem like expressions of love. But to her, they feel overbearing and make her want distance.

Though your intentions are good, you must relax before she pulls away permanently. Don’t panic if she doesn’t respond immediately. Focus on your own interests sometimes rather than monitoring hers.

Giving her some space will stop annoying clingy behaviors like double texting. She’ll be relieved and touched by your effort to change for her happiness.

8. She hasn’t noticed your interest

Before assuming you’re being ignored, ask yourself – have you made any effort to show your interest? Either through your words or body language. Or do you expect her to just pick up on vague vibes?

She may not realize you’re interested if you haven’t flirted or asked her out. 

Dropping hints is not enough. She can’t read your mind and won’t pick up on subtle signs the way you expect.

Don’t wait around for magic to happen. Make the first move and make your intentions clear. Start talking to her more often and suggest going out together.

Once she notices your effort, she’ll be more receptive to your advances. Be bold; you might find she’s been waiting for you to speak up.

9. She’s not interested in you romantically

As hard as it gets, the simple truth may be that she doesn’t see you as anything more than a friend or acquaintance.

You may crush her hard, but the feeling isn’t mutual. She avoids contact because she knows you want more and it makes her uncomfortable.

It’s tempting to keep trying to change her mind. But chasing someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings only pushes them away.

Rather than chasing her, focus on meeting new girls who will appreciate your advances. In time, you’ll connect with the right one.

And try to value your friendship with this girl, if one exists. Not every relationship with the opposite sex has to be romantic.

Should You Ignore Her Back?

When a girl ignores you, the instinct can be to give her the cold shoulder right back. But this isn’t always the wisest move.

Ignoring her could work if she seems to be playing mind games to get your attention. Going silent may make her realize the error of her ways.

But ignoring her without knowing why she pulled away could worsen the situation. You should at least try to communicate first to understand what’s happening.

If you determine that you did something to upset her, ignoring her could reinforce her negative perceptions of you. Don’t give her real reasons to write you off.

But, if she isn’t interested, ignoring and avoiding her likely won’t impact her much. Consider her motives and your relationship’s state. Respond in a way that enhances your bond.

Healthy Ways to Respond When She Ignores You

If ignoring her back seems ill-advised, here are some mature ways to deal with the situation:

  • Have an open, caring talk to check if you did anything wrong or can make amends
  • Give her space if she seems stressed or preoccupied with other areas of life
  • Scale back contact if coming on too strong is the issue; don’t chase
  • Seek clarity on where you stand and how she currently feels about you
  • Make thoughtful gestures to reassure her of your feelings if insecurity is the cause
  • Suggest spending more quality time together if her needs aren’t being met
  • Accept it gracefully if she ultimately confirms she’s just not interested romantically
  • Focus attention on nurturing new relationships instead of obsessing over her

The common thread is communication, understanding, and respect. Ignoring the issue won’t improve matters. Have an honest dialogue, get insight into her mindset, and go from there.

When to Back Off?

As tempting as it is to keep chasing her, there comes a point where you risk embarrassing yourself. Recognizing when to throw in the towel can save you both a lot of grief. Here are common signs it’s time to back off:

She asks you to stop pursuing her

If the girl tells you she’s uninterested or asks you to stop pursuing her, you must respect that. She’s making it clear your attention is unwanted. Continuing to chase her after this will drive her further away and make you seem desperate. Listen to her wishes and shift your focus elsewhere.

She is dating someone else

If you find out she’s begun dating another guy, immediately cease your pursuit. Trying to interfere in her new relationship will earn you nothing but a bad reputation. Wish her well and look for available single girls. Clinging to false hope will only lead to humiliation. Know when to bow out gracefully.

She seems very annoyed by you

If your presence is grating on her nerves, take the hint that your advances are doing more harm than good. The more irritated she looks, the more desperately you’re coming across. Ease up before you scare her off for good. When she has to avoid you to find peace, you’ve crossed a line. Retreat and work on improving yourself before trying again.


When ignored by someone you’re interested in romantically, avoid rash reactions. Use it as a time to think about what truly matters.

Don’t wait for affection that may never develop into a romantic relationship. Focus on building relationships rooted in mutual understanding and respect.