The initial days of a romantic relationship are heady and electrifying. Partners can’t get enough of each other and want to be in touch all the time.
However, it is slightly different when you are crushing on a girl. Often, the feelings will be one-sided. While you feel the surge of emotions, your crush may not have any toward you. Do you know that with the right tactic, you can turn things around and make her fall in love with you as crazily as you love her?
Before you consider this, you need to know her well. You need to know the whys, what, and hows about her, her thoughts, and her actions. At this point, you may feel confused as to why she seldom initiates texts but only responds. This is bound to put you in a delicate situation as you always initiate texting. This may make you doubt whether she’s into you at all.
This article lists the reasons for her strange behavior. Once you know her reason, you can take appropriate action to overcome this conversation hurdle.
Why does she never initiate text but only respond?
Your crush is happy to respond to the text messages but not even once has she initiated a text message. Is she responding to you out of politeness? Or is she really into you? If she’s interested, why isn’t she initiating texts? These questions will hound you until you figure it out.
It’s easy to find answers to these questions if you know her reason for not initiating text messages and only responding to yours.
Without further ado, let’s get started on the reasons for her strange ways of communication.
1. She’s into you but unsure about your feelings
It’s still early days and both of you haven’t revealed your true feelings for each other. As she’s replying to your text messages, clearly, she likes you. But she may not be sure about how you feel towards her. She may try to read between the lines in your text but couldn’t find anything to confirm that you feel the same way toward her.
This is a tricky situation in a relationship when couples are testing the waters cautiously. Even when she gets a feeling that you like her, she may not act upon it without concrete proof. If you are keen on her, you can take the initiative to break the ice and start the conversation. Maybe she’s waiting for this opportunity and reveals her feelings for you.
2. She’s scared that you’ll break her heart
Most probably, she feels this way from her past experience. She may have had really bad heartbreaks and is protecting herself from a repeat of the same. And, she cannot be faulted for this attitude. She may not feel comfortable about the whole situation.
She’s responding to your text messages is a good sign. It is a clear sign that she likes you. But she’s trying to know more about you and how you feel toward her. Until she’s sure about you, she’s happy to respond to your texts but not keen on initiating them. She knows that initiating a text is a clear sign of interest in the other person.
Now it’s up to convey your feelings for her, either through open conversations or through meaningful gestures. You need to convince her that your love is genuine and as a person, you’re better than those past boyfriends who broke her heart.
3. She’s clear about her priorities
This girl you are crushing on may have her priorities clear. She may be a career-oriented girl who wants to focus on her job, at least for now. She is well aware that a romantic relationship at this point will act as a distraction and divert her from her goals. When she has set her mind on certain achievements, she’s not going to allow anything, including you, to obstruct her way.
This may happen when she’s at the beginning of her career or later on. Most career-oriented girls want to settle down in their careers before getting into a serious relationship. They know that their future in their chosen career depends a lot on their hard work and dedication. And, it’s impossible to give 100% to careers and relationships.
Now, it’s up to you to convince her that building a relationship with you need not be the end of her career dreams. She can have both. In fact, with your support, she can do better. Moreover, she can control the pace of your relationship and you’re not going to rush her. An open conversation may resolve your dilemma.
4. She’s not fond of texting
She loves to interact in person. She initiates messages only when it is absolutely necessary. This may sound weird in this age when entire conversations happen over messages. However, she considers herself an aberration rather than the norm in communication.
She enjoys your nearness and spending time with you. She doesn’t find any enjoyment in texting you. Due to this reason, she never initiates texts. But she responds to the text messages you send her because you expect a reply from her. When you come to think of this, it makes complete sense.
You need to be concerned only if she isn’t interested in hanging out with you. If your girlfriend is averse to texting, there is no need for you to worry about it.
5. She’s texting others
If this mode of communication is only with you, you need to be concerned. She texts you only when you text her and never initiates a text. But you have watched her send out texts to others. Maybe she’s trying to make her feelings clear towards you. Maybe she even used you to get close to someone she’s crushing on.
If you know how to read between the lines, you can get an idea of whether she’s two-timing you. Or she just got friendly with you to gain access to your friend and is now not interested in you. From the way she messages you, you will know whether she’s messaging someone else at the time. Her communication will be delayed and often not to the point.
She may not be clear about what she wants in life. She may not want to leave you altogether because she likes you as well. She may like those who praise her and want only this kind of person in her core group. It’s up to you to decide whether you want to continue to pursue her.
6. She considers you a friend
Most probably, she never saw you as boyfriend material. She always thought of you as a friend; a good one at that. When a girl treats you like a friend, it will take some effort from you to change her attitude toward you. You may have to consider these points if you want to try building a relationship with her.
Who does she consider an ideal boyfriend?
Do you fit into this profile?
Do you want to change yourself to be in a relationship with her?
How will this affect you in the long run?
You can know her mind by having conversations with her about the topic. If this is not possible, you can get the information from her friends or even by watching her behavior. All you need to do is to make her fall in love with you. This is easier said than done. Just remember, all is fair in love and war.
7. She’s busy
This is true for many women. They are good at multitasking and there are times when they may take up more than they can handle. This must be one of those instances. She may not genuinely have a minute to spare after attending to her commitments and responsibilities all day long. She has no time for small talk. However, if you text her, she’ll make sure that she replies at the earliest possible time.
This is a tricky situation for you to be in. She may like you and want to be in a relationship with you, but she may not initiate a text conversation with you. She may not be interested in small talk. You may have to use all your powers of attraction to lure her into acknowledging you as her partner and building a healthy relationship with you.
As she is presently in an all-work-no-play mode, you would come as a breath of fresh air in her life. With others, she may have to be at her formal best, while with you, she can let her hair down and enjoy herself. The tricky part for you is to make her realize how much she would enjoy being in a relationship with you.
8. She’s scared of being misunderstood
This may be because of her past experiences. She has had horrible incidents in the past when people misinterpreted her words and she felt deeply hurt. Because of this, she’s afraid of texting per se. She tries to avoid texting as much as she can. She refrains from initiating text but responds to the texts she receives as she thinks it is rude not to respond.
This is a problem of the digital age and social media. If someone wants to twist your words and misread their meaning, it can be done so easily. And, the unfortunate part is that you can do nothing about it. She has experienced this harsh reality before and she is cautious about texting.
9. She thinks you are way too good
She’s very much aware of where she stands and how popular and good-looking you are. She finds it hard to believe that you are genuinely interested in her. She feels that you are just using her for a short-term fling or entertainment and are not serious about building a relationship with her.
She may have a point here if this is true. Also, she may be suffering from low self-image and self-esteem. This may be preventing her from seeing the bigger picture. She may not consider herself worthy to be in a relationship with you. This will make her see your behavior toward her with distrustful eyes.
Now, it’s up to you to prove to her that you really love her and want her to be part of your life.
10. She’s not into you
This is one of the simplest explanations for her behavior, though it may come as a rude shock to you. She may not consider you boyfriend material but she is willing to continue her conversations with you. Due to this, she never initiates text but always responds.
She may have her own idea about what she wants from her boyfriend. You may not fit in that profile. But she may not mind having you as a friend. She may feel that she need not take any initiative in this friendship as she’s not into you. She leaves it up to you to maintain the friendship. This means she will not reply to your text messages and not initiate any.
11. She doesn’t want commitment
She knows that relationships begin slowly and suddenly gain momentum and end up in marriage. Once she agrees to a relationship with you, she may not have any control over its pace and where it is headed. She may not feel comfortable with building a relationship with you. She may not be ready for commitment or marriage.
This is quite understandable from her point of view. She may have other priorities and wants to achieve things in life before she settles down in a marriage. If you are okay with taking things slowly and at a pace to her liking, you can initiate open communication with her about it. Ultimately, you need to convince her that this relationship will benefit her as well.
Proceed with caution when pursuing her. As your girlfriend is already alert and not ready to commit, you may have a hard time convincing her. Even if she agrees to a relationship with you, she will be a reluctant partner. At the first sign of trouble, she will try to get out of the relationship. Go ahead only if you’re up for it.
Some more reasons why she never initiates text but always responds
- She prefers to talk to you over the phone.
- She finds your texts irritating.
- She wants to find out if you’re genuinely interested in her.
- She prefers a no-strings-attached relationship.
- She’s not in touch with her feelings and is unable to express them.
- She thinks you’re desperate.
- She’s reluctant because you haven’t yet discussed your feelings with her.
- She thinks you’re not good enough for her.
- She lives in her world and doesn’t like anyone in it.
What can you do when she doesn’t initiate texts?
This depends entirely on your girlfriend’s response to your texts. Do you think her messages are curt and short? Is she responding because she feels duty-bound or because she is interested in communicating with you? Is she overly cautious about what she’s writing? Is she concerned about offending you?
Let’s check out your options for responding to your girlfriend.
- You can stop messaging her for a while and watch out for her response.
- You can call her more often.
- You can try asking her out on a date.
- You can send her flowers or other gifts. You can even order her the food of her choice if you know her schedule.
- Borrow something she cherishes. Such as her favorite book. Her reaction will reveal how she feels about you.
- Put some effort into improving your messaging style. Make it more palatable to her.
- Appreciate her efforts and successes. You cannot go wrong with this.
- Offer to help her with her work, both at home and office/college.
- You can show interest in participating in her hobbies.
- Let her see your ripped abs and toned body.
- Ask her bluntly how she feels about you.
- Give her some time to work through all the feelings and information.
The Bottom Line
The fact that your girlfriend is replying to your message, there is a glimmer of hope. It’s quite likely that she holds an interest in you. Your next step involves identifying any missteps occurring within the conversation. There could be an aspect that doesn’t align with her preferences.
Once you narrow it down and take steps to rectify it, she might gradually begin to take a more proactive role. It’s possible that you’re interacting with a more traditional individual who finds joy in small gestures but is hesitant to initiate a move herself.