My Boyfriend Says I Complain Too Much (Reasons & What to Do)

Have you ever felt like your boyfriend says you complain too much? If so, you’re not the only one. Many people in relationships have a partner who constantly criticizes their complaints. 

My Boyfriend Says I Complain Too Much

Even though it may seem mean, there are good ways to deal with this common problem. The key is learning how to talk openly, set limits, and stop complaining so much before it turns into fights.
This article will give tips for dealing with a boyfriend who says you complain too much. We’ll look at possible reasons he feels this way and when you may need to communicate better. 

You can get your relationship back on track with better communication and empathy. The goal is to build understanding between you and your partner so complaints don’t hurt your closeness and trust.

Why Your Boyfriend Might Say You Complain Too Much

Your boyfriend says you complain a lot could happen for different reasons. Here are some possible ones:

1. He Feels Tired of the Negativity

If you find yourself constantly complaining, all that negativity can overwhelm your partner. Constant complaining creates an environment that’s stressful for a partner. 

Try to put yourself in his shoes. If he complained to you non-stop every day, you’d probably start feeling worn down too, even if you try to be patient. Listening to constant complaints, small and big, is tiring for anyone after a while.

When a person hears lots of negativity and criticism regularly, it takes a toll on them. It can make them feel exhausted and closed off. If your boyfriend says you complain too much, he may have gotten to this point. Understanding where he’s coming from can help you communicate better and reduce tensions.

2. He’s Sensitive to Criticism

Some people don’t take criticism well, and even minor complaints can bother them. If your boyfriend is sensitive to criticism, hearing you complain to him often probably hurts his feelings.

Even though you may just see it as harmless venting, your words can have a bigger effect on him if he’s thin-skinned. Constant complaints, even minor ones, can slowly damage the trust between you two over time. Your partner may start feeling like he can never make you happy.

If you notice he seems very sensitive to criticism, you should be mindful of this. Try to be careful about directly complaining to him too much. Also, consider setting some rules and boundaries for your criticisms.

3. He Notices You Complaining More

Has your boyfriend said you seem to complain to him a lot more lately? When people are under more stress, they sometimes complain more without realizing it.

If he tells you that you’ve been complaining more, don’t get angry or deny it. Instead, calmly talk about why you might be complaining more. Are you feeling extra pressure from work? Or are you frustrated over an ongoing issue with a family member?

Rather than arguing about it, do some honest thinking. If you can find good reasons for complaining more, explain them to him. Ask him to be understanding. See if you can work together to deal with what’s causing your stress and complaints.

4. He Thinks You Have Relationship Issues

If you frequently complain to your boyfriend, it may signal unresolved relationship issues. Continuous complaints imply that you are dissatisfied with him or your relationship.

Relationship issues that lead to complaints must be discussed openly and honestly. Communicate constructively with him. Instead of accusing them of not caring, express your desire for more quality time.

Be truthful if parts of the relationship really bother you and make you complain more. Don’t ignore problems. 

5. He May Be Gaslighting You

Sometimes, your boyfriend may gaslight you rather than address the real issues. He may be avoiding or blaming you unfairly. 

Gaslighting means manipulating someone to make them question their own reality. Signs of gaslighting include when he says you did or said things you didn’t actually do. Other signs are him telling you that “You’re too sensitive” when your feelings are hurt. 

If you notice these signs,  don’t accept manipulation. Stand up against efforts to make you feel crazy for having normal thoughts and feelings.

What to do if he’s right

It’s understandable to feel defensive if your boyfriend claims you complain too much. However, it’s important to consider whether his perspective has any truth. 

What if he’s right? Here are a few tips to help you stop complaining and start  addressing the root of your problem:

Don’t Get Defensive

It’s natural to get defensive when criticized, but it won’t help. Try to listen and understand your boyfriend’s perspective genuinely. Share your feelings honestly without placing blame. Mutual understanding is key.

Practice Empathy and Kindness

Respond with empathy rather than anger if your partner says you complain too often. Put yourself in his shoes – is something unrelated stressing him out? Relationship issues require compromised communication.

Identify the Root Causes

Look inside yourself to find the root causes of constant complaining. Do you feel neglected, unheard, insecure? For example, are you complaining more because your partner is stressed from a long day at work? Pinpointing and addressing the real issues can reduce complaining urges.

Explain Your Needs Calmly

Rather than complaining, sit down with your boyfriend and explain what you need. For example, do you need more quality time together? Discuss solutions once he understands your perspective.

Find Solutions Together

Look for ways to solve the problem as a team. Can you set aside dedicated hours to discuss issues with your partner? Or speak to a relationship coach if it’s time to take more serious action? Making the relationship work requires cooperation.

Take a Break If Needed

Sometimes, taking a short break and resetting can improve the situation. This doesn’t have to mean a permanent breakup.  Set boundaries and terms together if you decide to take a break.


If your boyfriend claims you complain too much, avoid an argument. Have an open talk to understand his perspective. Reflect on your behavior and see if you need to make changes.

You can improve the relationship dynamic with empathy, honest communication, and boundaries. Don’t ignore genuine problems – address issues constructively together. 

If you hit a rough patch and have a hard time moving forward, don’t be afraid to seek a therapist. You can build a stronger bond with mutual effort, understanding, and less complaining.