They say to err is human, and ain’t that the truth! We all make mistakes, but sometimes it feels like our boo treats our slip-ups differently from theirs.
Picture this: you’re in a relationship, and whenever you mess up, your boyfriend jumps all over it, making you feel like you’re the worst person ever. Ouch, that’s no fun, right? It’s like having a chat filled with finger-pointing and blame-shifting!
I mean, we’re only human, right? But he seems to forget that. Why is he making such a big fuss over a little mistake? You’ve put so much effort into this relationship, and you’d think he’d cut you some slack. After all, those were just innocent mistakes, not some grand plan to ruin his day!
Is he a control freak? Does he want you to follow his every word without question? Maybe his angry reactions are just his way of keeping you under his thumb.
In this article, we’re gonna dive into why your boyfriend flips out when you make mistakes. And guess what? We’ve got some practical tips to handle this sticky situation too. So, keep on reading, and let’s figure this out together!
11 Reasons Why My Boyfriend Gets Mad When I Make Mistakes
In case you have experienced your partner getting angry at your mistakes before, you would be walking on eggshells around him. You find it hard to enjoy your time with him, scared of his outburst when you do something he doesn’t approve of.
Here are some of the common reasons why a man gets mad at his partner’s mistakes.
1. He has zero-tolerance
Maybe you have earned a “good person” tag in your friends’ circle, but for some people, even inconsequential mistakes can act as a trigger. If he blows his fuse for small mistakes of yours, his tolerance level must be abysmally low, close to zero.
He may be expecting you to follow his rules and plans and fall in line with his lifestyle. He may not want to see or hear anything to the contrary. He expects complete obedience and compliance from you.
In the long run, a relationship with such a person will be hard to carry on for you.
2. He has a big ego
Your boyfriend loves you, alright. But a relationship is not just about love alone. Love forms the core of a relationship, but it also involves compassion, compatibility, understanding, loyalty, trust, and cooperation.
If your boyfriend thinks that his job in the relationship is done as he gives you enough love, he got it wrong. He also has to lift up your spirits when you are feeling down. But what if he is the reason for you to feel upset?
In case your boyfriend gets mad when you make silly mistakes, he is making you miserable. If he’s doing nothing about it, it says a lot about his big fat ego. Maybe he’s using this as a strategy to rein you in and make himself feel superior.
3. He expects perfection
The definition of perfection is different for different people. How you want to do something may not be the same as how your boyfriend wants to. When two people come together to form a relationship, this difference may create clashes.
Your boyfriend may think that you are not doing something to his level of perfection and consider your actions as mistakes. He may not even spell this out but will continue to let his anger show in his actions and words indirectly. That makes it worse.
You will be at a loss to know why your boyfriend gets mad at you when you have made no mistakes. This situation is not ideal for a healthy relationship. Try to have an open conversation with your boyfriend. If he is unable to understand your concerns or change his ways, it’s time for you to part ways.
4. He has a narcissistic personality
Your boyfriend is so obsessed with himself, his wants and wishes, that he doesn’t care about you or your feelings. He is incapable of understanding how you feel when he gets mad at you for silly mistakes. The consequences to be with such a person are immense for you.
You will have self-doubts and feel demoralized and embarrassed all the time. As you don’t know the real reason for his anger, you will always feel scared about upsetting him. You will do everything you can to please him. In short, you will be miserable.
Narcissists are hard to live with. They find numerous ways to shame, blame, attack, and criticize you for even things, not in your control. You can try to make him understand your position. If it’s not working, get out as fast as you can.
5. He had a difficult upbringing
The experiences of our childhood influence how we turn out to be in a big way. Unfortunately, the children don’t get to have a say in how they are brought up. This can lead to flawed characters in adults.
In case your boyfriend belongs to this category, he may display abnormal behavior, such as getting angry at you for your inconsequential mistakes. Maybe his parents were perfectionists or had set high expectations. He may not have liked it and without even realizing it, he may direct his frustration and anger at you for your perceived mistakes.
The only way out for you is to let him know how his behavior is making you feel. He may take your comments either way. If he refuses to change his ways, it’s entirely your decision to stay in the relationship or not.
6. He is a violent person
Sadly, some people have a violent streak in them. They hurl abuses without much provocation. Such people may even get physically aggressive.
In case your boyfriend is such a person, he may get mad when you make mistakes. In fact, what you did need not even be mistakes, but as long as he thinks of it as mistakes, he will make it a big issue and kick up some fuss.
Some say that anger and aggression are in their blood or genes. However, that isn’t an excuse for such behavior towards you. Partners are meant to be supportive and protective. When your boyfriend turns aggressive, it is time you rethink the relationship.
7. He may be going through troubles
Maybe your boyfriend is in a tricky situation at his office or his finances may be in shambles. Most of us go through crisis situations in our life. But that doesn’t mean such people can take their frustration and anger on people around them.
By getting angry at you for your simple mistakes, that is exactly what he is doing. Maybe he does not even realize what he is doing to you. When your boyfriend gets mad at you, your reaction to his angry outbursts will only make matters worse. Instead, stay calm and talk to him after he has cooled down. He may realize his mistakes and won’t repeat them.
8. This is not the first time you’re doing this
You may have made the same mistakes before and your boyfriend may have expressed his displeasure. So, when you repeat the same mistakes, he naturally feels angry and gets mad at you.
Before you go ahead and blame him, consider if he is justified in asking you not to repeat your mistakes. If what you’re doing is a dangerous act, he is justified in saying no.
Even if he has no justification for saying no to you, you should have raised your objections earlier and not repeat the same. When you repeat, he is bound to feel mad, as he has already warned you. By repeating the mistakes, you are purposely ticking him off.
If you feel strongly about this, you should talk to him and make him realize your side of the story.
9. He isn’t happy in the relationship
Maybe the realization dawns on your boyfriend that he loves you and is in a serious relationship with you all of a sudden and he doesn’t know what to do about it. Maybe you’re not the kind of person he wants in his life. Or you turned out to be different from his expectations. Whatever his reasons are, he finds himself in a dilemma.
He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by walking out of the relationship, leaving you stranded. But again, he isn’t happy with you either. He may be feeling cornered. All these make him behave in an odd manner.
He may be actually frustrated and angry at himself for putting himself in a situation like this. But it may come out as angry words aimed at you for your small mistakes. When your boyfriend gets mad at you for silly mistakes, play it cool. When things are calm, take the initiative for an open conversation. Go forward with the relationship only if you can find common ground.
10. He’s no longer interested in you
Your boyfriend may or may not have realized this. But he doesn’t consider you as his girlfriend anymore. Maybe he never initiated the conversation with you, but he has taken the decision. At times, boyfriends hesitate to break up, fearing the reactions of their girlfriends. But it may come out as angry outbursts like this. Your boyfriend gets mad at you when you make mistakes.
Now that he doesn’t consider you special, he isn’t willing to forgive your transgressions and annoying habits. He shows his displeasure immediately without toning it down.
Talk to him and find out what is on his mind. There is no point in sticking around where you are not appreciated or wanted.
11. He may think that it’s okay
Whatever his real reason for anger is, your boyfriend may think that he can take it out on you as he is showering you with love and gifts. If this is the case, it’s high time you have a conversation with your boyfriend. This behavior is totally unacceptable and it’s up to you to make him realize this.
If, even after many attempts, you find it impossible to get the message through to him, you should start rethinking your future together. He may have issues in his life that may be causing him high levels of frustration and anger. But he has no right to take it out on you, even if he loves you or treats you well at other times.
If your boyfriend finds it hard to grasp this concept, clearly, there is no future for you with him.
How to handle a boyfriend who gets mad when you make mistakes?
It all depends on whether your boyfriend gets mad at you for small mistakes is a one-off or a regular occurrence. Either way, you should let him know how his behavior makes you feel.
Here are a few suggestions to help you handle the situation.
- Understand the reason why your boyfriend gets mad at you.
- If he’s ready to talk about it, keep calm and allow him to tell his side of the story.
- If he’s not initiating the conversation, you can take the lead for an open talk.
- Don’t rush to conclusions and decisions, as you may not have the whole picture.
- Give your boyfriend enough time and space to change his ways.
- Try not to trigger his anger. Learn ways to manage such situations with calm and maturity.
- If he needs help, don’t hesitate to offer your help. After all, you love him and want to continue in the relationship.
- Try to understand his point of view, at the same time, make him understand yours.
- Don’t feel scared to approach your boyfriend. You shouldn’t be fearful to talk about how you feel in the relationship.
- If none of the above is working, consider taking a break from the relationship. Think of this as the first step.
- If taking a break is not resolving your issue, you should seriously consider walking out of the relationship. There is no point in continuing in a long-term relationship in which you aren’t respected and/or feel fearful.
Most importantly, if you decide to walk out of the relationship, don’t blame yourself for the turn of events. Remember that you did nothing wrong.
The Bottom Line
Breaking up is easier said than done. Even when you know that you did nothing wrong, you may feel traumatized by the whole experience. That is why a breakup is usually the last resort when things go wrong in relationships.
However, if you have exhausted all options to make your boyfriend understand the situation and correct his mistakes, but he isn’t budging, this is the only choice left for you. Pick up the pieces of your life and move on. Don’t allow one bad relationship to spoil your entire life.