Have you ever wondered if letting your ex go would make him return to you? It’s a common question after a painful breakup. You may desperately want him back but worry that reaching out will push him further away.
The truth is, letting him go is usually your best shot at getting him back. When you give him space, it allows him to miss what you had together. It also shows him you respect his needs and can be independent.
However, there are never any guarantees. He may have already moved on or decided he’s happier without the relationship. You can’t control what he thinks or feels. You can control how you handle the breakup and relate to yourself.
This article covers the pros and cons of letting him go versus holding on. It will explore why letting go often reignites interest, even if it seems counterintuitive, and discuss tips for moving forward healthily, whether he returns or not. The goal is to find peace with either outcome. Let’s dive in.
Why Letting Him Go Might Bring Him Back
Gives him the space he’s asked for
When you let someone go and give them the space they asked for, it shows that you respect their needs. If your ex said he wanted time apart, reaching out and begging him to return to your life will only drive him further away.
It makes you seem clingy and afraid to let someone go. By respecting his request for space, you make it more likely he’ll miss you and come back of his own accord.
Allows him to miss you
There’s a reason for the adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Letting a mango and focusing on yourself rather than chasing him allow him to experience life without you.
If your relationship were generally happy, he’d probably miss little things like your laugh, inside jokes, or the comfort of having you there.
Makes you less “needy”
If your ex cited your “neediness” as a reason for the breakup, letting him go is the best way to fix that. It screams neediness when you beg someone to stay with you or fall apart because they left.
But if you gracefully let him go and carry on with life, it signals that your happiness doesn’t depend solely on him. It proves that your world doesn’t revolve around one man and that you can stand firmly alone.
This newly confident and self-sufficient version of you may remind him of what initially drew him in. The hope is that he’ll then come back for round two.
Shows him you respect his needs
By letting them go and leaving him alone per the no-contact rule after a heartbreaking breakup, you show your ex that you respect his needs and decisions.
However, it can be tempting to beg someone to return or badger them to take you back, but that rarely works. What does work is proving that you can let them go, give them space, and leave the ball in their court to make the next move. This respect may remind your ex of what he appreciated about you.
Reminds him of what he liked about you
With the raw emotions fading, your ex can see past the latest fight or disconnect that caused the split. This allows him to remember everything he loved about you and the person he fell in love with.
Becoming the best version of yourself in the aftermath instead of falling apart illuminates those winning qualities more clearly.
Shows him you have your own fulfilling life
If you crumble without your man or sink into a depression when he leaves, it signals that he is your whole world. As flattering as that seems, it’s unhealthy for both people in a relationship.
When you graciously let someone go, take time to grieve, and then get back out there living your best life, it proves there’s more to you than him.
Your happy, smiling social media posts and stories from friends show that you have a complete, fulfilling life outside the confines of your relationship.
This makes him respect you and realize what he’s missing out on. It could draw him back in hopes of sharing in the
Why Letting Him Go Might Not Bring Him Back
He doesn’t want a relationship now
Even if you follow the no-contact rule after a heartbreaking breakup, your ex may not return or want to get back together.
For example, if he broke up with you because he didn’t want a relationship at this point, letting him go likely won’t change that. If your ex claims he wants to play the field, focus on his career, or just be single, take that at face value.
As hard as it is, please don’t wait around hoping he’ll change his mind. Live your life; if it’s meant to be, he’ll return when the timing is right.
He has found someone new
Just because you let someone go doesn’t mean they’ll come back. Even if a guy misses you, if he finds a new girlfriend or starts a promising new relationship, he may choose to nurture that rather than return to you.
It hurts to think your ex might be dating or falling in love with someone new. But if he’s in the right mindset for commitment, you’ll likely never get your ex back once he’s with someone else.
Doing your own thing is still wise, however. Meeting the right person who appreciates that can help you see this relationship wasn’t meant to be.
His feelings have changed
Even if you do everything “right” after a breakup, your ex may not return. Sometimes, a guy’s feelings about you or the relationship have genuinely changed, making reconciliation unlikely.
For example, if he broke up with you because he had fallen out of love, letting him go probably won’t make him love you again. Or if he felt the spark was missing between you two and he was no longer attracted, space alone may not rekindle that.
If you want clarity, consider reaching out to a relationship coach. They can help you reflect on the relationship issues and decide what you want for your love life.
He was not that invested in first place
Sometimes, a guy dates a woman he’s not interested in, then moves on when someone “better” comes along. As brutal as this sounds, it happens more than anyone would like to admit. If a breakup guts you, but since he’s already over it and excited to play the field, letting him go likely won’t bring him back.
Once some guys determine the relationship wasn’t their perfect fit, they won’t look back or come back. Heartbreaking as this is, use it as a cue to take matters into your own hands.
Focus on self-care, surround yourself with love, and pursue exciting things that make you happy. This will build confidence and set you up for success with the right person.
What You Can Do to Make Him Come Back
Work on self-improvement
After a heartbreaking breakup, it’s wise to use the pain as motivation to better yourself. Get in the gym, advance your career, strengthen your support network – whatever lifts you.
When your ex sees you thriving instead of being flooded with sadness over the relationship ending, it sends a powerful message. And if he doesn’t return, self-improvement is still rewarding because you’re a better you.
Surround yourself with friends
Sit home alone crying over losing your boyfriend or ex isn’t going to help get him back. Instead, surround yourself with cheerful friends who bring out your best self.
Lean on those who inspire you, then get out there and try new hobbies and activities together. Fill your calendar with coffee dates, concert trips, volleyball leagues, and everything else that sparks joy.
A complete, vibrant social life shows your ex you don’t need him to be happy while also indirectly making him miss having you in his life. You’ll still have fun and meet new people even if he doesn’t return.
Try new hobbies and activities
Speaking of hobbies, letting yourself get lost in new activities you’re passionate about serves multiple breakup recovery purposes.
It keeps your mind occupied, boosts confidence, connects you with new friends, and adds dimension to your identity beyond just your past relationship.
All of this makes you more attractive – while also helping you heal. So sign up for that wine-tasting course, adopt a pet, learn guitar, and get traveling.
Not only will trying new things make you happier, but posting about your adventures may capture your ex’s attention and pull him back in.
Don’t beg or make him feel guilty
As tempting as it is, don’t beg your ex to give the relationship a second chance or make him feel guilty for leaving you.
Emotional pleas and tearful ultimatums usually backfire. They drain you while pushing your ex further away and confirming his correct decision.
Even if it’s normal to feel desperate and afraid of losing him forever, resist the urge to latch on tighter. Have faith that if you two are meant to be together, it will happen naturally when the time is right.
Give it time; don’t force anything
While keeping subtle contact where appropriate is a good idea, don’t try to force a reconciliation before either of you is ready. Instead, focus on meaningful activities, whether hitting the gym more often or catching up with old friends.
This will help you release attachment to a particular outcome with your ex. It also gives you time for thoughtful reflection about what went wrong in the relationship and whether it’s worth a second chance. If so, a renewed relationship can form organically.
Put Yourself First
Focus on your needs and growth
A breakup allows you to redirect your focus to your needs, desires, and personal growth. Take time to reflect on what went wrong in the relationship to avoid those pitfalls in the future.
Think about what makes you happiest right now and pursue those with vigor. Becoming a better version of yourself will skyrocket your natural confidence and self-worth.
This positive growth and self-care may get your ex thinking about coming back. But even if that hope doesn’t come to fruition, improving your life benefits you.
If it’s meant to be, he’ll come back
If you’ve let someone go and given them space to figure things out solo, trust that it’ll happen naturally if you two are meant to be together.
Getting a guy back shouldn’t require begging or manipulation; a strong mutual foundation should speak for itself.
If you focus on personal growth and walk your path with faith, a reconciliation could organically bloom when the timing and mindsets align.
Build confidence and self-worth
The pain of a breakup often crushes self-esteem and worthiness. Letting go provides space to nurture and rebuild both without anyone around tearing you down.
Take advantage of your new single status to rediscover passions that light you up inside. As your talents and purpose unfold, confidence in yourself and what you offer this world will grow exponentially.
Before long, you may love your new life chapter even more sans relationship. Even if your ex returns, this self-assured version of you will set better relationship boundaries.
You may decide you don’t want him back
It’s common to desperately hope for an ex to return soon after a split. But after taking time to focus on yourself, get clarity, and tap back into your worth, those rose-colored reunion glasses may fade.
You might realize the relationship was largely one-sided, unhealthy, or stunting your growth. Or maybe you’ll discover that while compatibility exists, your life visions don’t fully align.
As hard as it is initially, choosing not to let someone back into your life can be incredibly empowering while making room for better-suited connections.
When a relationship ends, wanting someone to come back into your life desperately is natural. However, holding on too tight will likely push them away forever.
Instead, gracefully letting go often brings an ex back when you least expect it. However, there are no guarantees a man will come back after a heartbreaking split. Focus on self-care regardless of what your ex does.
If you two reconnect later on, great. But even if he never comes back, view the breakup as a chance to rediscover your passions and shine as your best self. Lean on a dating and relationship coach if you need support moving forward.
Your value doesn’t hinge on one person or one relationship. This painful chapter will pass, and you will thrive again. Trust in that truth while also knowing you gave it your all. The rest is out of your hands.