Getting dumped is no fun. But if your luck has run out, you may be forced to deal with it.
At least for some, the question before them is whether to prioritize themselves or the new ex. This is a conflicting situation to be in and a hard time for you. Of course, for the rest, this is a no-brainer; they will follow their heart and do what is good for themselves.
Is it alright to do everything in your power to overcome the doom, depression, and desperation that accompanies a breakup? We know that this is the time for healing. But should you make yourself invisible and vanish from social media? Should you withdraw from society so that you won’t come across your ex?
It’s at this point that you realize the unfairness of life. You may not want to discuss your relationship troubles with others, but your mind will be constantly searching for answers.
Why did it happen to me?
What did I do to deserve this?
Should I disappear from the social scene?
How will my disappearance affect my ex?
Will your disappearance and no contact rule make your ex miss you? If yes, what about you will they miss?
What can you do to heal the wounds of breakup?
Read on to find some answers you have been searching for since your breakup.
Is disappearing after being dumped good for you?
In other words, will this backfire on you instead of helping you heal?
One of the most obvious interpretations of your disappearance immediately after being dumped is how much you valued the relationship. It will become clear to everyone that you were immensely attached to your ex and tremendously invested in the relationship.
The gossip-mongers are always looking for fodder to feed to the gossip-churning machine. Your misery will become a hot topic in society in no time.
Even if you feel like vanishing from the familiar environment, it would help your cause if you could pause a moment to think about the consequences. Here are a few probable consequences of disappearing after being dumped.
1. You’re weak-minded
After a breakup, disappearance shows weakness, but remember, it makes you human. Take control of your life, grieve, and avoid dwelling on the past. This phase in life, too, shall pass. Turn yourself into your own source of strength. Support yourself, don’t question choices, and focus on moving forward.
2. You’re very vulnerable
You’re like a sinking ship. You’re drowning in life. This is the time for your loved ones to stay by your side. Surround yourself with true friends who support you, not fake ones. Now is the time to filter your circle. True friends will stay, even when you’re demanding. They’ll be there when you cry.
3. You’re not yet ready to mingle
You’re popular and have a long queue of admirers. Vanishing from life suggests a lack of confidence in them. Single doesn’t mean you’re ready to mingle. A break from relationships is what you want. No contact rule will bring your respite and help you heal.
4. You don’t need to put up a brave front
A common reaction to a breakup is to move on in life as if nothing is wrong in life. You have no obligation to anyone else or yourself to put up a fake front of happiness and an all-is-well face. This is the time for you to be honest with yourself. Accept your mistakes and learn from them before moving on in life.
5. You’re hurt
If your feelings are hurt after a breakup, it means you loved your ex dearly and tried your best to save the relationship from a breakup. You’re entitled to express your disappointment at the way you were treated. However, make sure that this has a positive tone.
6. You’re taking considerable time for healing
The more you value your relationship, the more time it will take for you to heal. Don’t rush the healing phase, as this is much needed for moving on in life. Remember that people around you will be more considerate of your feelings during this phase.
7. You blame social media
Social media no longer comes with moral values; it isn’t angelic either. After a breakup, you may turn to social media for distraction. But you may also blame it for the situation you are in. Social media comes with its pros and cons. It can save you but also cause unbelievable damage to you. At this juncture, you should stay away from social media. Once you are well on the path of healing, you can come back to it.
8. You may attempt to stalk your ex
If you withdraw from the company after being dumped, you may be tempted to become more active on social media. You know how easy it is to follow the activities of someone on social media platforms. But stalking your ex is a big no after a breakup.
For one thing, your ex would be aware of your stalking, which may not be good for you. Secondly, it will serve no purpose other than heartburn and wasting your time. Finally, it will hamper your healing process.
9. You want to be missed
You were dumped unceremoniously by your ex, and you’re hurt. More than anger, the most dominant feeling in your mind is to be missed by your ex. You still love your ex and crave their company and hope for your ex to come back to you.
Though this is a natural reaction to being dumped, it is not practical or healthy in most cases. You need to reconcile to the fact that you’re no longer together.
10. This is a chance for you to grow up
Your life may have progressed naturally without you ever thinking too deeply about anything. Take this opportunity to analyze, ruminate, and decide what is important to you in life. You need to differentiate between crucial and frivolous things in life.
This revelation is not just for you to get over the breakup, but it will help you grow as a person.
11. You need self-care
When you feel like disappearing from the face of the earth after being dumped, it is a sign of unattended heartache, unresolved issues, and utter self-neglect. It’s high time you take care of your needs. Maybe therapy or a detoxification program will help.
You need to be in a mental state in which you can stay calm and relaxed. You shouldn’t have negative and unhappy feelings, thoughts, and emotions bottled up inside, which will harm your mental and physical health.
12. Maybe this was suggested by your counselor
Taking a clean break and maintaining no contact are often advised by counselors at the time of a breakup to help you deal with your mental turmoils and initiate the healing process. This tactic is found to be effective for most people in the situation. If ignored, things may get worse for you.
Just remember that you’re not running away from reality but pausing for a breather to regain your footing. You can come out of this phase in life whenever you are ready to face the world on your own terms.
Will your disappearance make your ex miss you?
You shouldn’t be too concerned about this question because it was your ex who dumped you and not the other way around. Your ex must have considered the question of your relationship deeply before deciding to dump you. So, the chances of your ex missing you, whether you disappear or not, is bleak.
Despite this, your ex may still miss certain aspects of you after a breakup.
Let’s see what all your ex may miss about you.
- Your constant indulgence and pampering
- The close intimacy that you shared with your ex
- Your romantic good morning and goodnight messages
- Your warm presence on the bed
- Good morning and goodnight kisses
- Your mouth-watering dishes
- Sharing sweet memories
- Your regular outings and clicking photos together
- Cooking up a storm in the kitchen together
- Looking at you and reminding themselves of how lucky they are
- All the activities you shared, including partying and gossiping
How can you start healing after being dumped?
Your disappearance after a breakup is entirely your choice. If you think it will help you regain your composure and become normal in life, don’t hesitate to take this step. However, you should be aware that you cannot disappear from society forever. You need to find your footing in life in the meanwhile and come back to your normal routine stronger than ever.
Here are some suggestions for you to begin the healing process.
- Convince yourself that breakups are normal in a relationship. Not all relationships last forever.
- Breakups are incredibly painful and hard to overcome. You need to accept that healing is a tough and time-consuming process.
- Spend some time on introspection. Could you have done anything differently? How do you feel now? Let it out and not suppress the emotions.
- Pour your heart into a journal. All those thoughts, feelings, and emotions that you hesitate to share with others put them into paper. This is the best step for healing a broken heart.
- Music is one of the best healers. Listen to the songs of your liking.
- Take good care of your physical health. Eat healthy food on time. Sleep well and exercise your body. Ensure that you are staying fit after a breakup.
- Make meditation part of your daily routine. This may not be easy to practice, especially when your mind is in turmoil. But with patience and perseverance, you can achieve anything you set your heart upon. Meditation, yoga, and deep breathing exercises can bring you the kind of peace and equanimity that you need to live happily.
- Devote more attention to your family and friends. Just remember that they are there for you no matter what.
- If you love books or poetry, turn to it for solace at this hour of need. You may have neglected this for long, but it can offer the kind of distraction and engagement that your mind needs after a breakup.
- Get close to nature. Go for hikes and treks. Take up adventure sports. If you have always wanted to try this, there is no time better than now to start it.
- Revise your wardrobe and reinvent yourself. You may think of this as a frivolous act. But in practice, this is found to be helpful in the healing process.
- Try changing your hairstyle. Similar to a wardrobe overhaul, this one is also about appearances. But appearances do matter for others as well as you. When you see a new person in the mirror, you will find it easier to forget about the heartaches of the breakup.
- Let go of your thoughts, feelings, and memories of your ex, the relationship, and the time spent together. This is easier said than done. The more you try to forget, the more you remember. Take it slowly and go steady with it. You need a fresh new start in life.
The Bottom Line
After getting dumped, you may feel that your heart is shattering into a million pieces. Though this may not happen literally, this is the effect a breakup has on a person. Then, you may feel like running away from it all and disappearing from the face of the earth.
Even if you want to, you may have an incredibly hard time disappearing after a breakup. Your natural curiosity and resilience will prompt you to get back. Don’t force yourself to carry through with the disappearance.
Disappearance after a breakup is advisable only if you want to. Do it because it will help you heal. Don’t do it for the wrong reasons, like making your ex jealous and miss you.